Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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