just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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