we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
