if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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