Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
