I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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