I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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