You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
