actually, I'm a sock model
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
