I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
