you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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