I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize