we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
