That's when you crack a 10am beer
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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