She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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