whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
