I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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