Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize