Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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