Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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