Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize