look no pants
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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