Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
