you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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