Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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