You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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