she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
