it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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