dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize