Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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