His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
