I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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