i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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