Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
