I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
