weddingsv make me drug and hornr
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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