I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
