I seem to have left my pride at pride
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
