You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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