I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
