How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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