she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
