Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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