physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
