So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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