I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
