YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
