TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
