remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
