Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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