Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Randomize
