I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
