You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize