The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
