So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
