Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
