i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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