She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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